2/19 Tonight my heart is heavy.
I have fallen in love with this place. I love my cold shower
and the surprise of no electricity at any moment. I love these kids, the staff,
and Auntie Marie who comes every afternoon to cook me dinner and keep me
company.
But I’m reminded daily of the poverty and brokenness that
Africa is known for. It is real. Because as wonderful and fun as everything is…there
is so much sadness.
Like the group of older girls who are sitting outside with
Pastor Daniel right now, with broken hearts and stolen purity. Or the three
year old I’ve fallen in love with who has the eyes of a 40 year old. With so
much past and hurt I can’t even imagine. He’s come so far just to smile and
he’s finally learned how to just run around and play like three year olds
should. Or the three sisters who were completely shut off and stone cold when I
first arrived. Their mom has no money and has no way to care for them…so here
they are in this unfamiliar place, with unfamiliar faces, and they’re just
trying to figure out their new life. Or the severely malnourished boy from the
hospital who was found by the cook next to the dumpster. And because he’s
abandoned the nurse who’s caring for him is the one paying for his care. Even
though she hardly gets paid as it is.
Everything is just so much more real than I ever wanted to
believe. I’ve been faced with the reality that people really do starve to
death, and children really do get left to die, abandoned and unwanted, and
curable diseases are still killing people.
I can’t help but wonder how I got to this place. How in the
world did I end up sitting in one of the poorest countries in the world on a
bamboo couch trying to get rid of ringworm on my neck? A year ago I had never
even heard of Sierra Leone. And now I call this place my home…brokenness and
all.
It makes me realize how BIG God is. How I have no control of
my life and what’s going to happen tomorrow. And the only thing I can do it
pray to be guided by love…every single day. Even on days like tonight when it
all seems like too much and it’s overwhelming.
"I have told you this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trial and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world." John 16:33
Love. You. So. Much!
ReplyDeleteAmaaaaazing what you are taking in.
God is so good.
Praying for you and those suffering. You are such a blessing to those around you!!! Love you!!! <3
ReplyDeletePraying for you and thankful for Auntie Marie's friendship and cooking!
ReplyDeleteLove, Mom
I am sitting here at starbucks studying...or reading this...crying...I know the pain and emotions you are feeling. Its hard. Everything seems unfair. We just cant get an understanding of why. Why these children are suffering. Why curable sicknesses that are so easily treated here in the states are impossible to fix. Or why a child could just be left alone on the streets. No matter how much searching we do we will never know. All we can do is pray that more peoples eyes are opened in the way yours and mine has been. Right now there may be things that you believe you are doing that are not making an impact on people in that country. I want you to know you are. Always remember that. Look at the miracle of Abraham. He was not suppose to be here today and look how amazing he is just because of a blood transfusion. Keep fighting for what is right. You are being the change you wish to see in the world. Can not wait to see you in 78 days! I love you!!
ReplyDeleteThinking of you, praying for you, and PROUD of you. Every single day. All of it. The world needs more Auntie Ashley's.
ReplyDeleteYou are the epitome of inspiration and what it means to LIVE as as a Christian. I am rather new to the path with Christ, and John 16:33 is one of my favorite scriptures thus far. I pray for and think of your journey often...God Bless Auntie Lois!!!
ReplyDeleteAshley you have been on my heart lately. You are a true inspiration to me listening to God and going to Sierra Leone. Its amazing how much your life can change within a few months. I miss you dearly but I know that you are where you are suppose to be! Know that I am praying for you and that I stalk your Facebook constantly because your photos always bring a smile to my face. Love you!
ReplyDeleteI Love You. I know it is early but Happy Birthday in case I forget. What a beautiful place to spend your 19th birthday, so engulfed in the love of God. I am so proud of you! Aunt Suzanne
ReplyDelete